Full Transcript

Hey friend — welcome back to this little holiday emotions series.
If you’ve been listening to Episodes 1 and 2, then you already know: The holidays aren’t always the joy-filled storybook scenes the world tries to sell us. There are emotions, expectations, old memories, and sometimes… a whole lot of invisible pressure. So today?
We’re shifting from awareness → into action.
Gentle action.
Choose-what-fits-you action.
I’m going to walk you through a few ways to protect your peace this season — not by avoiding life or skipping the fun, but by creating a season that actually supports you. Grab your coffee. This one’s good.
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A Soft Start: You Don’t Need to Do All 

Before I dive in, I want you to hear this: You do not need to do all of these. You don’t even need to do half. Just choose the one or two that feel like a little exhale for your nervous system. Because small shifts are enough.
Small shifts create big emotional relief. Okay, let’s get into it.
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10 Ways to Protect Your Peace This Season
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1. Lower the bar on purpose

Pick one thing — just one — to simplify.
One event to say no to.
One tradition to scale down.
One task to make easier.
Lowering the bar isn’t failure… it’s strategy.
Protecting your peace starts with removing unnecessary pressure.
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2. Set the tone

Ask yourself:
👉 “What do I need this year?”
👉 “What tone do I want for the next few weeks?”
👉 “What feels nourishing… and what feels draining?”
If your intention is “calm” or “simple” or “slow,” let that guide your choices — instead of the world’s pace guiding yours.
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3. Create a “Bare Minimum Holiday List”

Write three things that matter most to you this year.
Just three.
Everything else is optional.
And you’re allowed to treat it that way.
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4. Notice where comparison sneaks in — and step out of it on purpose

When you’re scrolling and everyone is having magical matching-pajama moments?
Pause.
Exhale.
And say to yourself:
“That’s their season. Mine can look different.”
Comparison isn’t the truth — it’s a story our minds create when we’re tired or stretched thin.
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5. Build little grounding moments into your day

Think tiny-rituals, not big routines:
• 30 seconds of slow breathing
• A cup of tea without multitasking
• Lighting a candle
• Stepping outside for fresh air
• A 5-minute music reset
Tiny things count.
Your nervous system LOVES tiny steps.
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6. Let yourself feel your feelings — without trying to arrange them or make sense out of them

If grief pops up, or irritation, or loneliness, or nostalgia… it’s okay.
You’re not doing anything wrong.
Feelings aren’t problems to fix — they’re signals.
Let them move through without judging them or trying to force happiness over them.
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7. Protect your time like it’s a resource — because it is

If you need a quiet morning, take it.
If you need an evening with no commitments, honor that.
If you need a slower pace, it’s not selfish — it’s protective.
Your time is one of the easiest things to overspend during the holidays.
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8. Don’t volunteer your energy out of guilt

You don’t owe anyone perfect attendance, perfect hosting, or perfect emotional energy.
If someone asks for something and your whole body whispers “noooo…”
listen to that.
Your body is wise.
Give from overflow, not obligation.
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9. Build a “energy plan” for the moments you know are coming

Think about the parts of the season that typically drain you:
Crowded stores?
Family tension?
Pressure to have everything done?
Financial stress?
Social overload?

Make a plan for each one:
• Take breaks.
• Step outside.
• Use grounding breaths.
• Delay the conversation.
• Excuse yourself early.
• Set spending boundaries.
Prepare so you don’t spiral.
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10. Choose one thing that brings YOU joy — and put it on the calendar

Not for your kids.
Not for your partner.
Not for your extended family’s expectations.
Something just for you.
A craft you love.
A quiet morning.
A walk with a favorite podcast.
A festive event you genuinely enjoy.
Joy doesn’t happen by accident — especially during busy seasons.
Sometimes you have to schedule it.
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Here’s what I want to leave you with:
You are allowed to create a holiday season that fits your life.
Your energy.
Your emotional bandwidth.
Your reality.
Not the one you grew up with.
Not the one Instagram is performing.
Not the one you think you “should” be able to maintain.
Just the one that feels doable, supportive, and honest for you this year.
And you know what?
That version is always enough.
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Thank you for being here with me for this little mini-series.
If these episodes helped you see things differently, gave you an “ohhh” moment, or helped you breathe a little easier… I’d love to hear.
And if you want more of these simple shifts and real-talk moments, keep hanging out with me here — we’ve got more good things coming.
Talk soon, friend. 💛

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If this episode gave you a little “ohhh, that makes sense” moment, stay tuned — the Check out all of the Holiday Emotions Series go even deeper.  Click the links below

Holiday Emotions 1: – The Holiday Can Feel Weird Sometimes

Holiday Emotions 2 – The Hidden Holiday Expectations That Drain Us 

Listen to more episodes

• Season 3: Simple Shifts Forward
• Season 2: Master Essential Oils
• Season 1: Organize DIY

Full Transcript

This is Part 2 of our little holiday emotions series, where we’re just… unpacking the stuff nobody else talks about but almost everyone feels.

Last time, we chatted about why the holidays can stir emotions earlier than usual — and how all those “cheerful” displays can knock over emotional boxes we didn’t realize we were storing.

Today –  We’re going deeper.

Because a lot of what drains us this time of year isn’t the holidays themselves…  it’s the hidden expectations we’ve been carrying around for years.

PART 1 — Where These Expectations Even Come From

Here’s a question for you:

When did you decide what the holidays are supposed to look like? That question may catch you by surprise so I will ask it again.

When did you decide what the holidays are supposed to look like?  How old were you? Who influenced those holiday memories?  Most of us don’t even remember — and that may be because it wasn’t something we Decided….

We inherited ideas from childhood…
absorbed them from commercials…
picked them up from friends, siblings, coworkers, social media…

And suddenly, without even realizing it, we’re carrying around a whole checklist of holiday “shoulds”:

We should host.
We should be joyful.
We should decorate like we’re auditioning for the Hallmark channel.
We should buy thoughtful gifts.

We should make handmade gifts.
We should show up to everything.
We should feel grateful every second of everyday from now until the end of the year.

But here’s the kicker:

Most of these expectations aren’t ours. They’re a patchwork quilt of what we grew up with, what we wish we had, what we’ve been told is “normal,” and what social media makes look easy. And every year, we quietly try to live up to it. AND now, it seems that the starting timer has begun earlier than last year.

PART 2 — The Emotional Toll of “Trying to Create the Magic” 

For a lot of people — especially those of us who tend to be the doers, planners, managers, memory-makers — this time of year comes with an invisible job title:  Chief Holiday Magic Officer.

And it’s exhausting.

You might not feel sad during the holidays… but you may feel drained, scattered, irritated, stretched thin, or quietly overwhelmed.

Why?
Because you’re trying to recreate something that may never have been real in the first place. Or maybe you’re trying to avoid recreating something that you did live through — something painful, stressful, or disappointing — and you’re determined to “do it  differently for the people you love.

It’s wild how many people I talk to who say,  “I’m trying to break the cycle. I’m trying to give my family something better than I had.” And yet —  their parents were likely trying to do the exact same thing.

We’re all just doing the best we can with the awareness we have.  But the pressure to “make it magical” can take a real emotional toll.

PART 3 — The Expectation Gap 

There’s something psychologists talk about called the Expectation Gap.  It’s the emotional space between: How something really is…  and How we think it should be.

That gap is where disappointment, resentment, shame, and comparison may live.  And the holidays season…
well that widens that gap as much as possible.  

. If you’re carrying emotional fatigue from the whole year…  The season magnifies it.

. If you’re doing most of the invisible holiday labor… (Meal planning, gifts, scheduling, hosting, managing everyone’s feelings.) The season magnifies it.

. OR If you’re simply tired — mentally, emotionally, physically… The season will magnify it.

A Metaphor: The Emotional Backpack

Let me give you a metaphor to bring this to life.  Imagine that every expectation — big or small — is a little stone dropped into your backpack.

One stone for the perfect tree.
One stone for hosting flawlessly.
One stone for not gaining weight.
One stone for the right outfits.
One stone for decorating like Pinterest.
One stone for family harmony.
One stone for great gifts.
One stone for being everywhere, doing everything.

On day one?
The backpack feels fine.
A little heavy… but manageable.

But December is long.

And by the time the season actually arrives, you’re carrying
 “What can I let be simpler?”
 “What expectations no longer fit?”

Maybe your version is slow and quiet this year.
Maybe it’s simple.
Maybe it’s less busy, or less decorated, or less full.
Maybe it’s different — because you’re different.

And that is allowed.

You’re allowed to create a holiday season that supports your nervous system… not one that drains it.

In closing:

Thank you for being here with me today.
In our next episode — the final part of this series — we’re going to talk about something incredibly practical:  Ten ways to protect your peace this holiday season…and how to set yourself up emotionally before the season really kicks in.

It’s going to be good.
And grounding.
And doable.

Talk soon, friend. 

If this episode gave you a little “ohhh, that makes sense” moment, stay tuned — the Check out all of the Holiday Emotions Series go even deeper.  Click the links below

Holiday Emotions 1: – The Holiday Can Feel Weird Sometimes

Holiday Emotions 3 –  Ten Ways to Protect Your Peace During the Holiday Season

Listen to more episodes

• Season 3: Simple Shifts Forward
• Season 2: Master Essential Oils
• Season 1: Organize DIY