Simple Shifts Forward Podcast
Episode 07: Stop Letting Should Weigh You Down (S3E7)
Clarity Chat: Stop Letting Should Weigh You Down. “Should” sounds small, but over time it can weigh us down like a backpack of bricks. Dana shares how many of our “shoulds” come from family folklore, cultural expectations, or old hand-me-down rules. Learn how to drop the “shoulds” that aren’t yours and replace them with the lighter power of “could.”
You’ll learn:
• Why “should” feels heavy and restrictive.
• Three questions to ask when a “should” shows up
• How swapping “should” for “could” creates freedom and choice
“Someone, somewhere decided these beliefs were truth — and they became part of our stories.”
Full Transcript
Hi, I’m Dana. Let’s talk about the weight of “shoulds” — how they sneak into our lives, and how to replace them with something lighter.
Family Folklore: Many “shoulds” aren’t even ours. They’re hand-me-down rules and family folklore.
In my family and from the words of friends, I’ve heard things like:
“Your aunt always used cloth napkins, so that’s what we do.”
“Our family’s never been good with money, so don’t expect to be.”
“We don’t do things that way.”
Someone, somewhere decided these were truths — and they became part of our stories.
Why Should is Heavy: Each “should” becomes a brick in your backpack. You end up carrying family rules, cultural norms, and even social media expectations. The problem? You never chose to pack those bricks — but you’re still lugging them around.
Next time you hear a “should,” ask yourself:
- Whose voice is this, really?
- Do I believe it, or did I inherit it?
- Is this helping me, or just weighing me down?
- If it’s not your “should,” you don’t have to carry it. You can say, “That may have been their truth, but it doesn’t have to be mine.”
The Swap: “Should” feels like obligation. “Could” feels like choice. So let’s talk about a way to swap should for could.
Here’s some examples:
- “I should make a home-cooked meal” → “I could order pizza and enjoy time together.”
- “I should be more ambitious” → “I could define ambition in a way that fits me.
Could” gives you power back.
Here’s my question for today… What’s one “should” you’ve been carrying? What would happen if you swapped it for “could”?
In closing:
So today, drop one “should.” Replace it with “could.” Notice the lightness in that one simple shift.
Thanks for sharing this space with me — we’ll meet again soon.
💭 Reflection Prompt:
Try this today, drop one “should.” Replace it with “could.” Notice the lightness in that one simple shift.
Your Next Steps
