Simple Shifts Forward Podcast
Episode 09: Talking Back to the Inner Critic (S3E9)
Clarity Chat: Talking Back to the Inner Critic: Your inner critic is sneaky — hiding in phrases like “I should,” “I never,” or “What’s wrong with me?” Dana shares how to name that voice, spot its buzzwords, and reframe its harshness into kinder truths.
You’ll learn:
• How to recognize critic “buzzwords” in yourself and others.
• Why naming your critic takes away its power.
• Simple ways to reframe negative self-talk into supportive language.
“The inner critic in your head is sneaky — often hiding in phrases like “I should,” “I never,” or “What’s wrong with me?” — it’s there even when you don’t notice.”
Full Transcript:
Hi, I’m Dana. Today we are talking about how to spot that inner critic, I’ll give you buzzwords to look for and some fun ways to get your friends involve in keeping that critic at bay.
Lets start with who is this inner critic I’m talking about?
We all have one – its not just you. It’s that little voice in your head that judges, doubts, and points out your flaws — often harsher than anyone else ever would.
It’s not truth, but a mix of old fears, comparisons, and borrowed beliefs that can hold you back if you don’t learn to recognize it.
How to recognize the Inner Critic: How do we recognize it because it doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it slips into everyday phrases:
o “I should…”
o “I always mess this up…”
o “I’ll never get it right.”
o “What’s wrong with me?”
o “Everyone else is better at this.”
So here’s a funny idea: Name your critic — “Negative Nancy,” “The Judge,” “Grumpy Gus.” A silly name takes away its power and makes it easier to talk back.
Another tip for you: It can be hard to notice these words in ourselves. But you know where it’s easier? Hearing them from other people.
I catch these words from family, friends, even on TV shows.
When someone says “I’ll never be good at this” — my ears perk up. Why? Because it’s easier to recognize the critic in others before we hear it in ourselves.
Make critic Pact: make a pact with someone close to you. Ask them to gently point out buzzwords like “should,” “I never,” or “I always” when they hear you say them. And offer to do the same for them.
When you catch those buzzwords…use The Friend Test. Try a redo of your words using softer words that you might use when talking to a friend.
You wouldn’t say “You’re lazy” to someone you love. You’d say, “You’ve had a lot on your plate — rest matters too.”
Here are some other examples:
o Critic says: “You’re so lazy.” → The friend says: “I’m tired. Rest is part of the process.”
o The Critic: “You always mess things up.” → Friend says: “I’m still learning. Mistakes mean I’m growing.”
o The Critic: “You’ll never change.” → Friend says: “Change takes time — I’ve already started.”
Now, I’d like you to think about one thing your inner critic has said lately? And how would you reframe it if you were talking to your daughter, son, or best friend? Practice this trick because, like a muscle, it will get stronger as you use it.
In closing:
So to recap, listen for the buzzwords. When the critic shows up — in your head or in someone else’s — name it, reframe it, and remind yourself: it doesn’t get the final word.
Thanks for sharing this space with me — we’ll meet again soon.
💭 Reflection Prompt:
I’d like you to think about one thing your inner critic has said lately? And how would you reframe it if you were talking to your daughter, son, or best friend?
Practice this trick because, like a muscle, it will get stronger as you use it.
Your Next Steps
