Simple Shifts Forward Podcast
Holidays Emotions Series #1: The Holidays Can Feel Weird Sometimes
If the holidays bring up a strange mix of emotions — pressure, anxiety, resentment, sadness, or even just a quiet “off” feeling — you are not alone. In this gentle conversation, we explore why the season can feel heavier than we expect, especially as holiday marketing starts earlier and louder every year.
I share a personal moment that made me pause in the grocery store this year, plus the neuroscience behind why our brains latch onto negative memories more than positive ones. We talk about emotional triggers, early sensory overload, and how old stories or memories can get stirred up long before we realize what’s happening.
You’ll also get a grounding metaphor (your emotional “closet shelves”) to help you understand what’s actually going on beneath the surface — so you can give yourself more grace this season.
This episode is a soft landing place if you’ve ever wondered:
- “Why am I feeling this way?”
- “Is something wrong with me?”
- “Why does everyone else seem so cheerful?”
- “Why does the season start earlier and stress me out more every year?”
You’re human. And you’re not alone. Grab a coffee and let’s make sense of it together.
“If the holidays bring up a strange mix of emotions — pressure, anxiety, resentment, sadness, or even just a quiet “off” feeling — you are not alone.”
Full Transcript
Today we’re chatting about something that almost no one talks about out loud… but so many of us feel: Why the holidays — or this whole end-of-year season — sometimes trigger emotions we didn’t see coming.
I’m not talking about dramatic, meltdown-on-the-floor way… but in that subtle “something feels off and I can’t put my finger on it” way. And if that’s been you this year? I am in that Same boat with you my friend.
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[PART 1 — The Early Holiday Creep & The Emotional Backlash
So let me tell you what happened recently – It was mid-October. My daughter and I walked into the grocery a store — and felt this strange little wave of… something. Anxiety? Pressure? Resentment? I couldn’t name it. And then it hit me: Holiday music. Holiday displays. Holiday deals. In October. My daughter was excited, but my whole system went: “Nope. Too soon. I’m not ready.” And if I’m being honest, I was kinda ticked off.
It felt like someone started the race before I had even put on my running shoes. And here’s the thing I started noticing: I wasn’t alone.
People around me were acting a little grumpy… or quiet… or tense. Almost like the early arrival of all the “holiday cheer” woke up emotions none of us were expecting yet. The marketing machine has gotten louder and earlier, and honestly — it can feel like pressure disguised as peppermint.
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[PART 2 — The Brain Phenomenon That Makes It Worse
There’s actually a weird phenomenon happening in the background of all of this.
Our brains have something called negativity bias — meaning we remember the one hard, emotional, tough moment far more clearly than the 100 wonderful ones. So when we see holiday images, music, sales, and commercials…instead of thinking of the warm, cozy memories,
our brain may jump first to the hard ones.
- The last holiday before someone passed.
- Family arguments about money.
- Years when you felt like you were failing because you couldn’t “make it magical enough.”
- Times where you felt left out or lonely.
- Or — my personal swirl this year — scrolling and seeing families doing 30 days of holiday movies together, matching pajamas, matching mugs…
and thinking, “That looks amazing… but that is not my reality this year.”
Our brains take those tiny emotional memories — the ones we don’t even realize are still hanging around — and pull them into the present the moment decorations appear.
No wonder it feels heavy.
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[PART 3 — The Invisible Triggers
You might be experiencing holiday triggers and not even know it yet.
For example:
• Seeing lights or décor can bring back the “last holiday” with someone you miss deeply.
• Early sales can trigger memories of financial stress or ‘not enoughness.’
• Social media can stir up comparisons — especially when everyone seems to be hosting magical gatherings while your season looks very… normal.
• Or maybe this year looks different: adult kids moving out, changing family dynamics, new relationships, new losses, new schedules.
And here’s the part no one tells you:
These triggers often show up earlier now — and they last longer because the season starts earlier.
Your nervous system is basically going, “Wait… are we supposed to be joyful? Ready? Organized? Celebratory? Because… I’m none of those things right now.”
There’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re not behind.
You’re human.
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[PART 4 — A Metaphor to Make It All Make Sense
Think of your emotions like a closet. Stay with me…
Most of the year, everything in that closet stays tucked away — the memories, the old stories, the expectations you’ve carried since childhood, the unspoken pressure to “make it magical.” But the minute holiday season arrives —
it’s like all those boxes fall off the top shelf at once.
You didn’t open the closet.
You didn’t go looking for anything.
But there you are, standing in the doorway with boxes everywhere thinking,
“Oh… wow… I guess we’re doing THIS now.”
Holiday emotions aren’t random.
They’re just the boxes that get bumped when the world around you speeds up.
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[PART 5 — The Gentle Reframe & Takeaway
So here’s the real point of this episode:
You are not doing the holidays wrong.
You are not behind.
And you are certainly not the only one feeling off this time of year.
What we see from other people — especially online — is the curated highlight.
We don’t see the arguments, the complicated relationships, the grief, the overwhelm, or the messy middle.
And we definitely don’t see the emotional boxes that fall off their shelves.
Here’s your little takeaway for today:
Before the season kicks in fully, take a moment and ask yourself:
“What do I need this year?”
- Not what you’ve always done.
- Not what your family expects.
- Not what social media shows.
- Just you.
And maybe… begin some positive habits a little earlier.
- More gratitude.
- More affirmations.
- More boundaries.
- More gentle self-talk.
Because if the season arrives early — your support for yourself can too. You deserve a peaceful, grounded, meaningful holiday season — one that fits your life, not someone else’s highlight reel.
In closing:
Thanks for sitting with me today.
If this episode gave you a little “ohhh, that makes sense” moment, stay tuned — the next two episodes in this holiday emotions series go even deeper: Click the link below.
• Episode 2: The Hidden Holiday Expectations That Drain Us
• Episode 3: Ten Ways to Protect Your Peace During the Holiday Season
We’re doing this together — gently, one shift at a time.
Talk soon.
💭 Reflection Prompt:
Ask yourself “What do I need this year?”
Your Next Steps
